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Training Up a Child, Why?
By Pastor Wiley L. Jones
Agape Family Life Center Church
The Bible states in Proverbs 22:6, that we are to, “Train or start a child in the
way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
What does this mean? What are the duties and responsibilities of those who have been chosen
to train up a child in the way that they should go? It is important to pay attention
to the point that we are to train; this does not mean that we are to condition the child as one would condition a new pet. Training for this purpose means to guide, to tutor, to educate moreover it means to
dedicate and consecrate the child to a life style consistent with the Word of the Lord.
In the infant stages of development or the formative years of a child it is imperative
that the child is given clear and unambiguous instruction on the principles of life from a biblical perspective. When the child moves into the youth or adolescent years, the appropriate training should be seen within
the child. However, when the behavior that, the parents have been looking for
is not evident in the child, that is when the, “Spare the rod and spoil the child”, scripture is brought forth
with a vengeance. This is then called “discipline”.
What is in the heart of a child? Is the child born full of evil and the rod of correction
will drive the evil from them? Or is this child born ready to receive training
that will either lead them in the path that they should go and not depart when the are old consistent with the Word of the
Lord. Or will this child receive the training and instruction of the world, there by knowing evil before good has a chance
to be a part of their life.
It is odd that parents or those raising a child look for a prescription on how a child
is to be raised. If I do “A” then “B” will follow. This is not true. What is true is that the development of the child in the area of
training is based upon the descriptive practices of the parents. These descriptive
practices, hopefully, should have their foundation in the Word of the Lord. The
foundation or heart of the parent can be transferred to the heart of the child.
There is no specific 10 or 12 step plan to raising a child; therefore there is no specific
prescription for the wonderful undertaking that has been given unto the individuals who are raising up a child. Proverbs 22:6 does speak to the description of what training will accomplish in the life of a child. The reason that I say that there is no specific prescription for the raising of a
child is that each one is different. Those who have the responsibility of training must consider the “heart” of
the child. As God looks upon the heart of the individual, so should the “trainer”
look upon the heart of the child. The Word says that we are to guard the heart for out of it follows the issues of life. In guarding the heart of the child in the training process one will establish how
the child will react he/she is old.
Proverbs 22; 15 states that, “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child;
”The rod of correction will drive it far from him.” Most believe
that the “Rod” of correction is based on corporal punishment. If
one spares not the “rod” as a means of correction then the rod of correction will drive the foolishness out of
the heart of the child appears to be the correct thought. How did the foolishness
get into the heart, was it there at birth or did the child’s observation of the parents and others establish the foolishness
within the heart? What is the answer to this question? Interestingly enough it is simple. Train up a child in the
way they should go indicates to us that whatever training the child has received is what will be demonstrated in the actions
of the child. Foolishness has been trained into the child. The “Rod” of correction will drive the foolishness far from the child. What or who is the Rod of correction?
Discipline is the key to training, not discipline in terms of corporal punishment but
discipline pursuant to the Word of the Lord as given to Joshua in Joshua 1:8 “This book of the law shall not depart
out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written
therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.”
This is the discipline that Joshua was to follow ~ you say it sounds like instruction. Discipline is instruction. I must hold
fast to my discipline for within the discipline there is success. Each of us must follow after the same course as Joshua;
moreover, it is important that those who are in our charge for training should also receive training and instruction as we
receive from the Lord.
What was the book of the law? The law consisted
of all that Moses had written and submitted unto the people. From the law the people were to take the precepts by which their
lives were to be governed. This was the instruction and training that Joshua had received. It is important that each one of
us accept the training of the Lord and not hold to that which has come from man.
This law was also articulate in Isaiah 28 their reluctance to learn or to receive instruction. Why is it necessary to have and actually receive instruction? Verse 9, states, “Whom
shall he teach knowledge? And whom shall he make to understand doctrine? Them that are weaned from the milk, and
drawn from the breasts”.
This is the plan that God has for those who are to train up those who are in their charge. For precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little. This is how we are to give and receive instruction. Joshua received “Discipline”,
“Teaching” and “Instruction” as to how he was to go.
This word discipline as spoken of by God is the same word that man uses to characterize
his actions towards others. When you hear the word being used in the same sentence
with your name you start to think that something bad is going to happen to you. Usually
discipline is thought of in very negative concepts. If that helps you, just think
of the word “correction” every time you see the word discipline. Discipline,
in the true sense of the word is positive, encouraging and even proof of love. Because
the Lord disciplines those he loves.. Hebrews 12:6.
The root word of discipline is disciple (of a student, of a learner). When God disciplines us, He is making disciples of His children.
So when we discipline our children we also should do this in love with instruction.
This discipline is defined as training that develops self-control.
Discipline in the Biblical sense includes three levels:
“Level One” Instruction, is the
foundational level of discipline is II Timothy 3:16 states, “All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable
for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness. That
the man of God may be prefect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.” This
is where God wants all training to occur for our children as well.
Level one is instruction where Discipline begins with clear communication, instruction,
and teaching.. Both the Old Testament and New Testament word for discipline support
this definition containing all three levels. However, the word discipline
in the English language has evolved (unfortunately) to eliminate the concept of "instruction" and instead focuses on the next
two levels - mostly the third.
Level Two is training. Training means to lead and direct the growth of the individual.
It includes helping the person to form habits and develop proficiency in the instruction that they have received.
Level Three is correction. Correction is meant to alter or adjust ones behavior
by taking action to cause the person to follow previous instruction.
Therefore, correction follows instruction. Whether or not the individual has adhered to
instruction, the Word says that we learn line upon line and precept upon precept. When a child learns a precept and puts it
into practice continued training and correction needs to occur until the child demonstrates the attributes of the Word of
God in their life.
It is important for the parent to correct the actions of the child when it is seen that
the child is not applying the instructions appropriately for whatever reason. God takes action at this level in our lives
in order to help us maintain our self-control least it be damaged. God will be direct and assertive as a parent should, “Have I not told you” Hebrews 12: 6 “For whom the Lord loveth he
chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. 7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what
son is he whom the father chasteneth not? 8 But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards,
and not sons.”
Children are chastened by the Lord, with correction by reproof. This reproof is through pruning of the excess, or the pretense or the falsity that is exhibited by the
individual. God wants to refine us for the purpose that He has for our lives. It is important that in the training up of a child that the refining of the instruction
given to the child is accomplished in order that the child will reach their predestined potential.
In this article the question was asked, “What or who the rod of correction is?”
Ted Tripp writes in his book Sheparding A Childs Heart that the rod means the “parent” in faith toward
God and faithfulness toward his or her children, undertaking the responsibility of careful, timely, measured and controlled
use of physical punishment. This is good and yet questionable if you look at the context within which the term “rod”
is used, it is used as an instrument that has the power to drive the foolishness out of the child. Measured instruction and correction can also remove foolishness from the heart of an individual yet sometimes
it takes a traumatic event for a person/child to understand that their current course of action will lead to destruction. Does this mean that you can spank your child? It does mean that spankings are appropriate;
however, a spanking should not be given because the child lacked knowledge of what they were doing was inappropriate or wrong,
that is the time for teaching and learning through instruction. When one is clearly
disobedient, as adults are sometimes towards the Word of the Lord the consequence can be a traumatic episode that would cause
the person to consider their ways and make the correction. Thanks be unto the Lord for “Mercy” and “Grace”,
in their absence the consequences of mans actions would be unbearable. Remember
“Mercy” and: Grace” as you discipline those in your charge.
Go forth and train up the child in the way that they should go, and when they get old,
they will not depart from the training. It is imperative that the training is
Biblically based and not based on the teachings of the world. Guard the heart
for out of the heart flow the issues of life.
God Bless you and God keep you.
Wiley Jones, Senior Pastor of Agape Family Life Center Church
Rancho Cucamonga.
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